I had a nightmare in the wee hours of this morning, one that included flagrant and painful encounters with my mirror-touch synaesthesia. I woke up pondering the neurocognitive process by which one might experience blended senses during sleep, and if those perceptions were real or illusory.
In my dream, I was flying home from some sort of international conference on an Airbus A330. I remember the plane so vividly, it’s roaring engines and the feeling of weightlessness as the massive jet did the impossible; flew a few feet above the freeway to avoid the turbulence at higher altitudes, swooping below the overpasses, then navigating between skyscrapers in a major city I can’t identify. Something was wrong with the plane, so the pilots decided to land in Chicago. We would be housed overnight in that city, with transit onward to San Francisco the next day.
The carrier, United Airlines*, had launched a contract with an inpatient psychiatric hospital to use their available rooms to house customers who needed overnight accommodations while waiting to continue their journey to their destination. I was given a space in an open ward; my roommates were several stylishly attired business women who had been at the conference with me, and a totally strung-out but colorfully tattooed teenager. She had the bed next to mine, and while were chatting before going to sleep, she began aggressively cutting her left leg, making short, angry slashes to her thigh and knee with an improvised knife.
Witnessing her injuries at such close proximity, I experienced what might be some of the most intense mirror-sensory phenomena of my life, shocks of stinging electric pain coursing down my legs, and wrapping around my arms and chest. I then went into a meltdown, where my breath caught in my chest and I couldn’t get my words out. The business women came to my aid, and listened to my description of what was happening to me, as they physically surrounded me. I told them it’s so hard for people to comprehend pain synaesthesias, and that they are a real and true neurocognitive difference. We then decided collectively that the psych ward wasn’t a great place for us and bailed out to a very nice restaurant near the airport, where I obsessively watched the clock, worried that we would miss our flight to SFO.
I see many iterations of the anxiety motif that is common in my dreams these days as we shelter in place and the pandemic continues to infect. And I know so much of what I saw in my nightmare is impossible, for example, the jumbo jet gliding just above the interstate, and flying under the bridges and overpasses. But my mirror-sensory synaesthesia in my dream felt so real, with a searing pain that I’ve known my entire life. Was I having an actual synaesthetic response to what I was seeing in my nightmare? Or was my synaesthesia a phantasm, no different than the sensation of flying in the airplane and hearing the white noise of the jet, which also felt real? I’ve definitely had other synaesthetic experiences in my sleep, but how common are they? I’m going to look for answers to these question over the coming days, reaching out to the neuroscientists I know. I’ll post their answers soon…
*Some people feel frustrated with the ways the airline industry offers diminishing compassion for their customers, but do know that United Airlines has never offered to house me in a mental institution and that what I am describing was a dream.
Great article! As an electrical engineer, poet. author, pianist, dancer, and artist who has mirror touch synaesthesia, I have discovered that by creating paintings and poems that teach me strategies to protect myself from being infected by other people’s pain I’m able to change what I see and what I feel. In other words if I look at water flowing away from me I feel like other people’s pain is flowing away from me. Consequently, I carry with me a video of flowing water on my iPhone and at home I have running water videos on my TV’s 24/7 that I look at to keep me calm and from feeling anxious. I dreamed this morning I was redesigning myself as I lay in the ocean (emotions) next to the beach a (reasoning). Are the any virtual conferences on synaesthesia and art coming up in the near future?
Hi Barry, thanks for your post. There’s some conversation about taking the Synesthesia and Music conference that was to be held in Vienna this summer (July 3-5) and holding it online. But I’m not sure where that stands as of now. I will be sure to keep you informed if I hear of anything…
Hey Carolyn! This morning I was awakened by pain throughout the backs of my legs due to a nightmare I had about my youngest son being in physical pain. After speaking with my mom about this phenomenon I experience often, I told her I have yet to find another who has the same gift. So I started looking and found you. I became aware of this sensation about 16 hrs ago. If I see/hear about others in physical pain (regardless whether it’s real or in a movie), I feel surges of what feels like ice water down the backs of my legs, stopping at the knee. If the pain is emotional (myself or others) I feel the same sensation on the backs of my hands to my fingertips. I don’t always feel it. I describe it like hitting your elbow. You don’t necessarily always hit your funny bone but when you do it’s a jolt of pain. Anyhow, I’m excited to have found someone with the same gift! I sent you a friend request on fb as well. So if you wonder why a stranger from Texas is stalking you, that would be me :).
Hey Lindsey! it seem that many of us with mirror-sensory phenomena have sensations that shoot down our legs. I hope the research community will study this type of synesthetic experience. Do you have other forms of synesthesia? Wishing you sweet dreams WITHOUT that ice water pain. Best, CCH